Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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