Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
