Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
