Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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