So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
