OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I skipped work to stalk him.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
