nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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