if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
