Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
