just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
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