3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
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i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
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They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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