You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
