some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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