I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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