I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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