My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Randomize
