if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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