Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
