i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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