how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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