You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
