Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
