Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
