I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
