Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
