I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
