thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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