I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
