We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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