i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
