dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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