... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
All I want is dick and wine.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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