I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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