Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is very pro this idea
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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