see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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