woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
