the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
