I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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