last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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