Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
