There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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