I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Randomize
