What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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