I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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