I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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