she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
