I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
