how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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