god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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