i just had sex bonerless
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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