its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
