Texts From Last Night

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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.

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  (262): Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face. http://tfl.nu/let7
  Replies (4) Good night (715) Bad night (3422)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.

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  (410): we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us. http://tfl.nu/tnpc
  Replies (26) Good night (8018) Bad night (664)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!

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  (510): ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE! http://tfl.nu/j6yk
  Replies (7) Good night (3489) Bad night (992)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?

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  (508): Why did you put hummus in my pillow case? http://tfl.nu/0gk1
  Replies (9) Good night (1431) Bad night (3137)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve

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  (313): tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve http://tfl.nu/02r5
  Replies (12) Good night (3776) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.

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  (707): You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are. http://tfl.nu/sbxa
  Replies (6) Good night (1205) Bad night (3058)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?

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  (404): Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right? http://tfl.nu/zhkv
  Replies (7) Good night (2752) Bad night (846)
• Favorite

  (915): View more from Texas

  Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up

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  (915): Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up http://tfl.nu/dczq
  Replies (6) Good night (3549) Bad night (1266)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room

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  (719): Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room http://tfl.nu/c34s
  Replies (5) Good night (3322) Bad night (871)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning

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  (704): It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning http://tfl.nu/8zj7
  Replies (10) Good night (1560) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy

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  (407): She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy http://tfl.nu/3ht2
  Replies (16) Good night (2180) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.

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  (941): I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh. http://tfl.nu/0uja
  Replies (2) Good night (837) Bad night (1942)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.

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  (859): and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/coqa
  Replies (10) Good night (1547) Bad night (535)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.

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  (360): Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try. http://tfl.nu/j8hc
  Replies (2) Good night (615) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone

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  (425): 1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone http://tfl.nu/2si2
  Replies (3) Good night (542) Bad night (479)

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