Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick