Ambien. No doubt about it.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.