1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
We're like a lot better than the average bears
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.