Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.

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  (203): I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you. http://tfl.nu/ig1m
  Replies (8) Good night (1487) Bad night (672)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.

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  (440): just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy. http://tfl.nu/sv1q
  Replies (15) Good night (976) Bad night (2327)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.

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  (816): Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete. http://tfl.nu/oev7
  Replies (20) Good night (4107) Bad night (1431)
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  (631): View more from New York

  she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.

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  (631): she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever. http://tfl.nu/9adr
  Replies (21) Good night (999) Bad night (8471)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.

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  (954): Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America. http://tfl.nu/l7qb
  Replies (11) Good night (3424) Bad night (1065)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.

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  (250): you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in. http://tfl.nu/ux6h
  Replies (7) Good night (1183) Bad night (2900)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.

  (616): View more from Michigan

  The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...

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  (616): I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself. (616): The wine tasting is just for charity anyways... http://tfl.nu/d1ju
  Replies (3) Good night (2841) Bad night (794)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater

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  (778): There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater http://tfl.nu/g5ze
  Replies (4) Good night (814) Bad night (2380)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.

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  (714): sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast. http://tfl.nu/a05x
  Replies (9) Good night (3300) Bad night (1031)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  AMAZING.

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  (917): hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye (908): AMAZING. http://tfl.nu/tp4d
  Replies (5) Good night (2190) Bad night (836)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.

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  (301): thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants. http://tfl.nu/zsuu
  Replies (2) Good night (1181) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.

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  (585): We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling. http://tfl.nu/9r51
  Replies (4) Good night (1946) Bad night (710)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.

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  (804): My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur. http://tfl.nu/bitm
  Replies (11) Good night (2997) Bad night (1263)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?

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  (717): do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met? http://tfl.nu/fj36
  Replies (7) Good night (1104) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.

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  (202): She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top. http://tfl.nu/luup
  Replies (10) Good night (1107) Bad night (442)

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