Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (636): she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love. http://tfl.nu/j1yq
  Replies (7) Good night (5706) Bad night (990)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party http://tfl.nu/h6v5
  Replies (10) Good night (967) Bad night (3925)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets http://tfl.nu/vbys
  Replies (8) Good night (4237) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises. http://tfl.nu/vxkf
  Replies (33) Good night (2313) Bad night (5162)
• Favorite

  (807): View more from Ontario

  I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (807): I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick http://tfl.nu/2mmx
  Replies (6) Good night (3720) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement. http://tfl.nu/p08o
  Replies (2) Good night (2252) Bad night (1344)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight. http://tfl.nu/vjdx
  Replies (7) Good night (1906) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.

  (214): View more from Texas

  elevator sex. pronto.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me. (214): elevator sex. pronto. http://tfl.nu/j5vd
  Replies (5) Good night (2724) Bad night (935)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (646): If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better http://tfl.nu/zbhj
  Replies (3) Good night (1577) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed http://tfl.nu/e8xr
  Replies (1) Good night (1080) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success. http://tfl.nu/agha
  Replies (1) Good night (1887) Bad night (817)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (352): a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window. http://tfl.nu/ast5
  Replies (10) Good night (1395) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it. http://tfl.nu/r2m1
  Replies (3) Good night (329) Bad night (666)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair. http://tfl.nu/3qrj
  Replies (1) Good night (505) Bad night (370)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?" http://tfl.nu/n5f6
  Replies (1) Good night (217) Bad night (90)

Randomize