? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.