nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
