last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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