I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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