how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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