i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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