omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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