If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
In America we eat man semen.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
