What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
