Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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