just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
