I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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