i think my tv is drunk
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My pussy is not your playground.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
